Finally everything is all done today, the presentation and the assignments, not to mention spending the whole day in college doing programming and learn. I have slept in like only 4 hours in this 2 days and feeling tired. The stress before presentation and handing in of assignments has really got to because I haven’t been so scared till I vomited in the morning on both that days. I have to say despite all that it was really a new experience that really pushed me to the limit in every way possible way. This experience also created a new bonding among the study group that included alwyn, kok , zhen and shuni. It some sort of bringing back memories of high school friends where u see them almost every single day and for along periods of time till the point u feel like they are suddenly your extended family.
I am happy for my friends in the study group which I know they did well for their presentation. I’m on the other hand very disappointed with my work not turning out the way it suppose to be. My presentation was bad as I was doing the coding almost the whole night and suddenly in the morning after some modifications it all went haywire at the last minute. I really am feeling so down since that presentation day till now as I actually have put in blood, sweat and tears into it but yet it failed badly. I really didn’t know what to do after that, I can barely go on writing the finishing touches of my documentation which I spent doing till 5.30 am in the morning. I have even tried to smile but can’t really do. I guess I really learnt this lesson on not to do last minute work in a hardship manner. At the same time I also feel I have learnt a lot from knowing nothing and in that context I feel proud a little but still the facts haven’t changed.
Today, now, sitting here, I am supposed to feel relieved that all is done, I am, but at the same time I am not. I suddenly don’t know what to do. There is like the emptiness in me and stuff. I even feel kind of happy as today I have change my car muffler tip to a straight flow one and also took it to a car wash as it really needed one. My day was really enlightened only just as I watched the movie The Love Guru. It is a darn hilarious movie that made me laugh out loud till my family thought I was crying hahaha. Well that happy moment has now passed as I am back to square one of my disappointment on my project.
I have really tried, and I would like to thank all that helped me on it, but I really took this defeat to the heart. It really hurt. Some may say it’s a reason or may think its some joke but it so isn’t. I feel so disappointed till I want to give up on everything but that isn’t wise as I have came a long way. I don’t know how long would it take to recover form this. Haiz! After this will be the final examinations where I’m so darn afraid of my business law.
Now you see the bombardment of feelings I am having right now. One word ….. Down!!!.
